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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Now I Know - Max Indian
I know I kind of ragged on these guys for making me relabel nine songs, but this album is actually legitimately excellent.*
*it’s probably only “pretty great”, but the Hey This Band Is From My Town factor gets me every time.
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Norm Scott knows what's up.»
Gather around, my little bartenders, and I’ll drop some whiny knowledge: unless you’re running a gag series, webcomics are a dangerous proposition. No matter what noble aspirations begat the effort, in the end, they’re motivated solely by that ever-present deadline, which dulls creativity and innovation like sharp steel being scraped edge-first on a brick wall. In the end, it strangles the product, and you’re left with a zombie of a comic series, continuing to exist without any spark of vitality, without any purpose except to meet the next deadline. Think “Cathy.”
Yes.
The current situation over at Mocktopus is a combination of a bunch of things. “Creative drought”. “School”. “The fact that I am weak”. Doing a comic five days a week is something I’d love to be able to do, and I had it going pretty well during the summer, but it’s just not a feasible option if I want to cultivate creativity and ideas, rather than churn out five jokes about rapping sloths a week, three of which are in copy-paste sprite form.
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I just can't catch a break.
- Connecting to server...
- You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
- Stranger: hello
- Stranger: M/F?
- You: Z
- Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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Because, you know…you know how, like, when you’re smoking, you inhale smoke, and then you blow it out? Yeah, because it looks like that. But it isn’t! It’s Smarties. But it looks like you’re smoking. Smoking something. Because of the smoke.
Hey, why did you stop writing?
(via.)
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WHAT A GREAT JOKE, I AM LAUGHING
I bought a CD a couple of weeks ago at a local record fair, and when I imported it into iTunes today, this is what I saw:
Compare this to the actual album:
Hilarious.
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This is the only time I'll do this.
Alright, Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Wednesday. You win.
Here is the story: I called my friend Nick and was all, “hey man. Jake and Amir are in town and are gonna post clues about where they are. ARE YOU GAME” and he was like “uh YES” and I was like “okay”, so we went for it. We were not even close to the first people to find them but it did not matter because we all went to a burger place and it was rad. Except that I wore the worst possible shirt. Look at that thing, it’s practically a dress. I could have worn any of the like five improv t-shirts I own. Then this would have happened:
Jake: Oh, you do improv?
Max: Yeah, I’m in a couple of groups around town.
Amir: That’s amazing. Will you be our best friend?
Jake: Say yes or I will cry.
Instead, this happened:
Amir: We’re going to go to a bar now. I don’t think you guys are twenty-one, sooo…
Max: Heh, yeah, uh, no.
Amir: Thanks for coming out, though!
Max: Yeah, no problem, see you soon!
Amir: …Yeah. Okay.
Max’s Brain: What the hell, Max. “See you soon?” WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU AAAAA
I am blaming it on the shirt. -
Last night I met the best letter-lister in the world.
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- You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
- Stranger: hey
- You: hi
- Stranger: m
- You: r
- Stranger: asl
- You: ooh, good one.
- You: qpx
- Stranger: ahole
- You: nice!
- You: ofal
- Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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So here is an interview with Dan Harmon in The Onion and he talks about Improv.»
AVC: How has you improv background in Milwaukee impacted your subsequent career?
DH: It’s all-encompassing. The way I learned how to function as a human being, how to write, and how to collaborate—as much as I can—with other writers and producers, it’s all based on the principles I learned as a high schooler in ComedySportz. Just the basic improv stuff of saying “yes” instead of “no” as often as you possibly can, always assuming the other person is right no matter how ****ed up they sound. If you’re genuinely creative you’re going to find a way to make what this person is doing work for you.
FACT: Dan Harmon did ComedySportz in high school.
FACT: I am in high school, and I have done ComedySportz. Well, I mean. Kind of. “High School League”.
FACT: Dan Harmon is a cool guy who does a bunch of cool stuff.
ERGO: I am a cool guy who does a bunch of cool stuff?
…no, I’m still High School League in that, too.
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-Mr. Obama, I really like you and my mom wanted me to ask if—
-SHHH. Shh. Stop talking. I do not care what your mother wants you to ask me. Mr. Obama’s real tired, son. Super tired. Like you would not believe. You know how stressful it is being the President? IT’S PRETTY HARD. I haven’t slept in days. In fact— you know what? You know what? I am going to sleep, right here. Right now. Tell that to your mom.
-But, Mr. Obama—
-ZZZZZZ CAN’T HEAR YOU -
I know the best people and the worst linguists.
- Nick: HOLE!
- Nick: DONA ESTA?
- Nick: COMMA ESTA, I MEAN?
- Max: oh god
- Max: your spanish
- Nick: IS MUY BENO
- Nick: COMMO SE YAMMO?
- Nick: ARIBA!
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“some guy on stage. super bored. where u at?”
OH HELLO NATIONAL TV
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It's kind of a tragedy.
- xXdarkandspooky72Xx: hey,, do uk anything about the play Dracula?
- Max: There is a dracula, and his name is Dracula.
- Max: He lives in space! And once a year he must come down to earth to get energy for his space station.
- Max: When he comes down, he goes to Home Depot, but they don't have the batteries he's looking for, so he flips out and kills a bitch.
- xXdarkandspooky72Xx: theyre having the play at my high school
- Max: Also, there is a van. And its name is Helsing.
- xXdarkandspooky72Xx: and idek if i should bother trying out
- Max: It has wooden stakes tied to the front, and hits Dracula in the middle of the street, killing him instantly.
- Max: Then the government seizes the space station and converts it into an amusement park!
- Max: Until one of the children finds a secret chamber containing dracula's secret to eternal life.
- Max: Then the feds chase this little kid across the space station to try and get this secret.
- Max: Finally, the kid is exhausted and the feds are right behind him.
- Max: So he uses the secret, and becomes a dracula! And there is a huge fiery transformation sequence and all of the government agents are immolated horribly.
- Max: So then he kicks all of the tourists out and lives in the space station, and the cycle repeats itself.
- [xXdarkandspooky72Xx has signed off]
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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
Max: YOUR QUEST:
go through “damn it feels good to be a gangsta”
replace “gangsta” with “panda”
Ethan: hahaha
Max: THIS IS YOUR QUESTAnd then he actually did it.
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The Art Teacher Hates Me
The Persistence of Memory is a well-known fable by renowned children’s writer Sal Dali. The title is ironic, as the story within is that of a forgetful young watchmaker named Dieter, who leaves his works out in the sun too long, causing them to melt.
Dali was awarded the Giesel Medal for Excellence in Children’s Storytelling for Persistence. His other works, such as The Birth of Liquid Desires and Mr. Owl Makes A Friend, are not nearly as well-known.
